I like to think of myself as an encourager, but sometimes I need the reminders myself.  I’ve seen a lot of reflection with creatives this year leading to anxiety (including myself) and I thought I would address that.

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

I think it’s great to make goals for the year and reflect at the end of the year about accomplishments.  As you know, if you’ve followed my blog for a while now, this is exactly what I do.  I set goals for myself every year.  Yet, as I look back on my year, I see all the “NOTs” or things I didn’t accomplish.

Strangely enough, I know several other creatives that have been doing this too.  I was talking with a dear friend of mine and her anxiety was very high reflecting on this last year as well.  I started to remind her that we need to remember every small victory along the way.  There are more of those than we realize.  And as I encouraged her, I realized I was also encouraging myself.

Life threw me some curve balls this year that tanked some of the goals I set last January.  And yet, I look at what I did accomplish.  There are positives there!  I added lots of new art work to my online portfolio and revamped my website.  I got my physical portfolio together (for the first time in years) in the nick of time for an in-person conference (first one in a long while).  I received wonderful feedback from an editor on a manuscript I wrote at that same conference.  I revamped a dummy and got feedback from Art Directors that I feel leads me in a great direction (and confirms my belief that this is a GOOD story).  I have several submission opportunities that I’m following up on.  BUT I digress.

It’s that anxiety that is niggling at me and at so many of us that I want to address.  For me, this year had some unexpected personal health and work issues that changed the direction of my goals.  And as I reflected on this, I was reminded of an image that Laurie Halse Anderson shared at a conference here in Alaska many years ago:

Why do we persist in thinking that success is a straight line?  I have interviewed TONS of authors and illustrators and never once has anyone’s journey to (or even measure of) success been the same.  Why do we hold “success” so highly without enjoying the twists and turns of our journey?  Why is this so endemic to the thoughts of us creatives?  Can’t we write, or paint, or create for the sheer joy of doing it without putting such heavy expectations or price tags on the outcomes?  Why do we always berate ourselves for failing, instead of acknowledging the mile markers along the trail and continuing to follow our path (whatever that might be)?

Here’s what I know as a teacher: it’s easy to focus on the negative behavior of a naughty child.  It’s harder to praise the positive actions of the kids doing it right.  Psychologically, we as humans want to point out annoying or naughty and say “STOP IT!”  It takes great effort to turn away, focus on the correct behavior and smile/congratulate/praise.  The same could be said for creatives.  When we reflect, we automatically gravitate towards comparison or failure for the goals we set for ourselves.  Instead, we must force ourselves to turn away, be KIND to ourselves (so very hard to do), praise the positives, and take the next step forward on our path.

I found this video that really spoke to me this last year.  Jason Alexander is talking to a bunch of musicians about creative struggle and it resonated so strongly for me that I have to share it here:

We need to be kind to ourselves.  Every journey has bumps and detours.  We need to give ourselves grace when that happens.  And if a goal isn’t met, certainly acknowledge it, but don’t beat yourself up over it.  With this in mind, I made this image for myself for the year going forward.

I hope it speaks to you too.  Be gentle with yourselves and I hope you will find ways to enjoy your own journey, no matter where your steps take you.