I’ve had ENOUGH

I’m hoping to explain to anyone who might NOT be a teacher, what is going on over here behind the curtain of the great and powerful Oz.  Teachers know.  Some parents understand.  But there is a great deal of opinion and slander being bandied about that IS NOT BASED ON FACT.  However, I’m not going to be addressing that today.  I just want to share a slice of my own personal hell so you get a general idea of what is going on over here. Continue reading

New paint

It took a week and a half away from my precious summer time, BUT I painted my giant bedroom and it was worth it.  I am SO happy looking at these “new” walls now, it’s ridiculous.  I get lost just gazing at them.  SO I thought I’d share the fruits of my labors (and my hubby too, of course), as well as give you a tiny bit of insight into me. Continue reading

Be gentle with yourself

Life happens.  It will throw you curve balls when you least expect it.  And sometimes your creativity and all of your goals will dive under the bus when you’re trying to avoid all those curve balls in the Dodge Ball game of life.  When that happens, you simply have to breathe and survive.

I’m experiencing a time just like this.  It’s been frantic since school got out last spring and it’s only more so right now.

I traveled a LOT this summer (both for work–CONFRATUTE! in Connecticut–and to help my hubby with his book tour while also visiting family).  In between travel there were these tiny moments of wallowing in horrible heat and forest fire smoke unlike any summer I can recall in Alaska to date.

I had Texans laugh at my coworker and I when we said our heat was killing us.  It’s DIFFERENT in Alaska.  Our heat may not reach the temperatures of Texas, but it sustains for FAR longer.  We have nearly 24 hours of daylight, you guys.  It doesn’t cool off in the evening or relent.  There is no sleeping in a heat like this that just roasts.  Alaska experienced drought this summer that reduced lakes by 3 feet.  It also allowed horrible forest fires to rage all over our state and drown us in smoke all summer long (to such an extent that the air was damaging to breathe).  I swear all of my clothes hanging in the closet now smell like a camp fire.

Between the travel and the heat? NO creativity work got done.  I had plans, but … no.  And now that school is back in session?  I’m drowning in work with plenty of drama I won’t go into.  Suffice it to say that a K-1 combo class is double the work this year.  Plus planning a local SCBWI conference coming up in a few weeks here.  Plus some family drama I don’t want to elaborate on.  PLUS looking to move by the end of September.  I feel SO overwhelmed and I’ve cried from hurt or stress or just sheer exhaustion so many times.

I feel so guilty about my creative goals.  I feel like I let myself down and I’m not reaching for my dreams.  But the truth is, those dreams don’t go away.  They are always there.  And I will keep working towards them when I can.  I have to survive this month though and then things will get back to where they need to be: balls rolling (not thrown at me), gears meshing smoothly.

Why am I telling you this, dear reader?  Because I’ve met many other dreamers along my journey who have said “my dream is dead because life happens.”  It breaks my heart every time I hear this.  Your elderly parents require all of your care?  Your mentally ill brother is burning out and you are scrambling to help him?  Your house caught fire and now you’re homeless?  God, these things are awful!  I’m sorry you are going through them and I sympathize.  I’ve been there in some of these same situations and life DOES feel hopeless.  But it’s not.

Life happens my friends.  And we keep moving forward one step at a time.  The dreams will wait.  We will survive and then we will return to them.  Don’t give up hope.  And please, don’t give up on your dreams, for that is truly the only way that they will die.  Be gentle with your heart, yourself, and your one precious life.  You have more than enough going on right now.  Don’t add self-punishment to that.  Your dreams will wait, and so will I.  I will wait to celebrate with you. <3

Summer Time Giveaway!

Sorry to have disappeared after April, but May was a challenge this year!  I had first grade AND Kindergarten with which to wrap up school.  It was exhausting.  I was beginning to be afraid that my age was starting to show (that’s just how dead tired I was at the end of every single day in May!), BUT I was relieved to find out that my 20-something coworkers were just as dead tired as I was.

This is a real “end of school year” teacher occurrence.  It’s the MOST draining time of the year.  Not beginning of the school year (though yes that’s tiring too), or even one of the major holidays (especially ones that involve sugar).  No, the end of the school year is IT for teachers.  My house falls into disrepair and dust.  I sleep a LOT and am still dead tired.  And in Alaska, I’m also getting hammered by allergies at the end of the school year as the trees start to bloom.

Usually I’m kind to myself and give myself ONE week after school is out to sleep.  That’s it.  Sleep as much as I want (and read and chill).  However, I didn’t do that this year.  Instead, I gave myself a day to pack after school was out, before I went traveling for two weeks!  EEP!  What was I thinking??  Then it was back to the same end-of-school-year messy house that had to be tackled.  sigh

BUT I digress.  I have saved a wonderful giveaway for this summer.  Last year, one of my creative teaching coworkers made a wonderful pair of shoes.  Well, rather, she painted them.  She saw something on Pinterest I believe and decided to paint a pair of shoes for the first day of school to look like #2 pencils.  Aren’t they cute?


ALAS!  The acrylic paint she used shrunk the shoes!  She couldn’t wear them at all.  They started out women’s size 11, but shrunk 1-2 sizes smaller.  They could be a size 10 or a size 9.  It’s an unknown.  She decided to give them away and no one wanted them but me.  Not because I could wear them (they’re way too small for me), but because I know JUST HOW MANY OF YOU go to writing conferences during the summer.  And the amount of “book wear” I’ve seen like this at conferences is ridiculous (& adorable!).

SO, if you’re interested in the shoes (mystery size but probably women’s size 9 or 10), leave a comment below!  I’ll give every comment a number and have my husband draw one out of a hat to pick a winner! <3